Commodore Soubie Rewrites RSS 10
APRIL FOOLS’ DAY – THIS IS A JOKE
In an unprecedented power grab, Snipe Class Commodore Luis Soubie has mandated that starboard-tack Snipes shall give way to port-tack Snipes on odd-numbered days. “I’ve always thought that starboard tackers were taking too much advantage, especially right after crowded mark roundings,” he said, from an undisclosed secret location where he is currently testing shockcord. “I’ve had some really close calls internationally, because sailors from other countries don’t apply the rules the way we do in Argentina. Now that I’m Commodore, I finally have the authority to reset the balance of power between competitors.”
To reduce confusion, the Soubie Rule will only be in effect after the starting gun at World and Continental championships. “Beyond the tenth day of the month, only full-time professional Snipe sailors who sail barefoot will be able to keep track of whether the date is odd or even,” Soubie admitted. “It’s safer for all of us if we only implement these rules during our highest level competitions.” For that reason, the Soubie rule is definitely not recommended for use at clinics. “Practice is overrated,” Soubie added. “The best sailors just show up and win.”
Because the International Snipe Board was not consulted, former commodore Pietro Fantoni only learned of this change when called by an Italian AP reporter desperate to fill an empty sports page. Fantoni quickly put out a press release of his own, the starting cannon of a recall bid to take back the office. “Snipe Commodores are supposed to safeguard the rules, not change them,” the statement reads. Though he also admits privately that “I wish I’d thought to change some rules while I was still in charge!”
Asked for an opinion about his skipper’s latest tactical decision, longtime Soubie crew Diego “Mini” Lipszyc just smiled and said, “sin comentarios.”
The Soubie Rule is currently scheduled to go into effect April 1, 2021.
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