Breaking News: Snipes added to Paris Olympics

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY – THIS IS A JOKE

With just over 100 days until the Opening Ceremonies on the River Seine, World Sailing has announced an equipment substitution for the mixed doublehanded discipline: the Snipe will replace the 470. Though rumors are swirling, there will be no athlete substitutions allowed.

“This will be an easy transition,” USA’s 470 crew Lara Dallman-Weiss said, upon hearing the news. “I sailed the US Nationals on Lake Okoboji, and Stu [McNay, skipper] was in one at least once. We’ll be way better prepared than the other international teams.”

No official reason has been given for the last-minute change, but a source close to World Sailing claims it was caused by the way 470 crews now pump their hips from the wire. The concern seems to be triggering an R rating for the entire Olympic Sailing TV program. “The censors didn’t like that… motion,” the source said. “Snipes will keep Olympic TV family-friendly.”