Tariffs

Brussels, Belgium, April 1st, 2025. European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen told reporters: “After a long negotiation involving both sides of the Atlantic, the European Commission is happy to annoounce that certain essential goods such as Pulpo a la Gallega, Struccolo de Pomi and Snipe boats will be excluded from the application of tariffs on imports by the other side of the Atlantic. On our part, we will not be applying tariffs to maple syrup, peanut butter, and cowboy hats. This is the first step to starting the dialogue.”

“Pulpo a la Gallega and Snipe boats?” a journalist from Le Monde blurted out, nearly dropping his pen. “Is… is this a joke?”

Von der Leyen, stone-faced, simply repeated, “These essential goods are excluded. Further details will be… clarified in a fact sheet.”

“In the meantime, we will always remain open to negotiations,” von der Leyen said. “We firmly believe that in a world fraught with geoeconomic and political uncertainties, it is not in our common interest to burden our economies with such tariffs. We are ready to engage in a meaningful dialogue.”

Meanwhile, in Galicia a jubilant representative of Zeltic Snipe declared to reporters: “We have the cards!”

“We always knew the world couldn’t live without proper Galician octopus, Strucolo de Pomi, and finely crafted Snipe boats!” said Stefano Longhi of MAS Marine, known to have a hearty appetite, adding in Triestino dialect “A che bon!” after devouring the last piece of strucolo.

We are happy to highlight that the Snipe Class serves as a diplomatic tool to enhance world trade relations.

[April fool story]